Conflict has been around from the very
beginning. Cain had a conflict with Abel, he did not handle it to
well. King Saul had a conflict with soon to be King David, that one
did not turn out to well either. The Old Testament is full of
conflict. Wars, rebellion, false gods, were the results of all of
this conflict.
There was conflict between the
religious leaders and Jesus. There was conflict between Saul and
Christians in the early church. There was conflict where ever Paul
went and the Bible tells us there will be conflict as we approach the
end times.
Conflict is something we are going to
experience in this life. I for one have conflict at work. We have a
group of people who are all working together to achieve the same
goals, why would there be conflict? Simply because we are human, we
have different thoughts on how to get things done, we work at
different paces, heck it could be that someone had a bad morning
before they even got to work.
As a Materials Manager I have conflict
all the time. A supplier is late on a critical item, there is
conflict. An employee does not want to follow policy, conflict.
Another supplier asking for more money, big conflict. Quality issues,
conflict. Disagreement on what we should be making, conflict.
Conflict seems to be part of my day, pretty much every day, and that
is not including the fact that I have teenagers at home. I wont get
started on that one.
I am confident that I am not alone, all
of us deal with conflict on a regular basis. It may be conflict with
coworkers, your boss, customers, spouse, children, neighbors, and
just about anyone else. We all have to deal with other people so we
are going to have conflict in our lives.
History gives us a rather interesting
account on conflict resolution. French novelist and playwright
Alexandre Dumas once had a heated quarrel with a rising young
politician. The argument became so intense that a duel was
inevitable. Since both men were superb shots they decided to draw
lots and the loser would shoot himself. Dumas lost the draw. Pistol
in hand he withdrew in silent dignity to another room, closing the
door behind him. The rest of the company waited in gloomy suspense
for the shot that would end his career. They finally heard it. His
friends ran to the door, opened it, and found Dumas, smoking revolver
in hand. He said, 'Gentlemen, a most regrettable thing has happened.
I missed.'
I guess that is one way to deal with
conflict, but it really does us no good this morning. See for us to
resolve the conflict in our lives we need to look into God's Word.
James is as usual not to shy about saying what He thinks. In chapter
4 of his letter James is going to ask about conflict, tell us the
causes, and help us understand how to minimize or eliminate conflict
from our lives.
James 4:1-3
“4 What is the source of
wars and fights among you? Don’t they come from the cravings that
are at war within you? 2 You desire and do not have. You murder and
covet and cannot obtain. You fight and war. You do not have because
you do not ask. 3 You ask and don’t receive because you ask with
wrong motives, so that you may spend it on your evil desires.”
Once again, James speaks his mind. You
want to know where the conflicts are coming from? The conflicts we
deal with in our lives are due to us being more concerned with our
own personal desires than God's desires. The cause of conflict is
because we are not following God's desires we are following our own
desires or wants. Kids create conflict easily when they do not get
what they want, and while the rest of us like to think we are more
grown up we do the same thing.
In marriage there is conflict on how to
best use money, save it, buy a car or a house, eating out, and the
list goes on. The husband and wife will not always agree on how to
use their money, when someone does not get their way, the result is
conflict.
At work when the boss wants something
done a certain way and one of the employees wants to do it their own
way. The result is conflict.
Two siblings may want to watch
different TV shows or play different video games, the result is
conflict.
It is easy for us to blame the other
person in the conflict. We do it all the time. If we miss a key
metric at work I need to explain it or assign fault. I have to place
blame. They will not accept me saying I made a mistake or I goofed.
They will not accept me saying, 'sorry we just missed it this month.'
They expect I find the cause and place the blame. The supplier was
late, or the machine was down for repair. Hence corporate America
teaches us, that we need to place blame on others. Not that most of
us need help learning how to blame others. We have been doing it
since we were little kids.
James is telling us that we should not be placing blame on others. If we are involved in conflict we need to be looking within ourselves for the source. Each of us, myself included, need to be very honest with ourselves. We may be godly people, we may love Jesus, we may be Christ followers, but at the same time there is still part of that sinful being lurking inside of us. The dark and selfish side. No matter how long we have been a Christian, we are still human, and it is that sinful human that causes the conflict.
We all have dreams and desires. I am
sure most of us have things we have wanted and did not get. After all
we like it our way and in many ways we are driven by our pleasures, wants,
and desires. The more we are driven by these things the more likely
we will be involved in conflict.
Cain wanted what Abel had. King Saul
wanted to hold on to the kingdom that God had given to David. They
let themselves be driven by their own personal selfish desires
instead of God's will for their lives. God warned Cain and Saul blew
his chance by not following God's commandments.
In verse 2 James refers to coveting.
Now Jesus used this word to say that He deeply wanted to have
Passover with His disciples before He suffered. So coveting is not
always bad. Most the time it is translated and used to refer to
wanting something in a bad way. James is telling us that it is wrong
to want something so much that it leads us to be angry or frustrated
if we don't get it. It really does not matter if what you want is a
good thing, it is the behavior that is viewed as bad. For example
buying a house is a great thing for a family. It leads to stability
and for many can be used to share God's message and love. Now if you
want the house no matter what and are willing to do whatever you have
to do to get it, then there is a problem. That is the sinful nature
taking over. That is is not seeking God's wisdom or will.
In verse 2 James also states 'You do
not have because you do not ask.' Those of you with an NIV Bible this
morning will see the another word at the end of the sentence that
should be pretty obvious. 'You do not have because you do not ask
God.'
If you are like me, there are a lot of
things in your day that you do not ask for God's help. I ask Him
every morning to help me with my day, or to help me be who He wants
me to be. Most of the day after that, especially at work, I move
forward on my own as if God is not available to help me with my job.
Here I am, a child of God, knowing fully that God hears and responds
to my prayers but I do not pray over everything. Can you relate? How
many things do you handle on your own instead of asking God?
James is telling me and each of you,
those good things we desire, the things that will bless us and allow
us to be a blessing to others, we do not have because we do not give
the request to God. There are things that God wants to give us that
we do not have because we have not asked. That should be an eye
opener for every one of us. We would have more blessings in our lives
if we only asked God for them.
Now, James is real quick to tell us
that God is not going to give us anything and everything we want. God
will answer prayers if we are asking with the right motives. We are
entitled to bring any request to God, but out prayer must be in the
same spirit as Jesus' prayer before He was arrested.
Luke 22:42
“Father, if you
are wiling, take this cup away from Me – nevertheless, not My will,
but Yours be done.”
Our prayers can be fairly selfish. We
may think that we should be praying for everything, like the name it
and claim it people. God wants us to bring our desires, but we need
to be praying for His will to be done not our own.
You should be asking God to help you
get that house you want or that new job, but you need to do it
desiring for God's will to be done not just because you want it.
James 4:4-5
“4 Adulteresses! Don’t
you know that friendship with the world is hostility toward God? So
whoever wants to be the world’s friend becomes God’s enemy. 5 Or
do you think it’s without reason the Scripture says that the Spirit
who lives in us yearns jealously?”
I wonder if anyone
questioned if James thought he was writing to fellow believers or the
local Baal worshipers. Wow, he was not afraid to saw it like he sees
it.
Normally adultery is
referring to sexual sin and that is something that can easily happen
to someone who is living life selfishly, but James is talking about
spiritual adultery. Spiritual adultery is when someone is being
unfaithful to God.
Remember during The Story
we saw a trend with Israel and the prophets. The people of God would
regularly fall out of favor with God because they stopped looking to
Him. They would forget about God, His commandments, and start
worshiping these little wanna be gods. They would start living their
lives the same way that the others lived. The Nation of Israel would
commit spiritual adultery, they turned their back on the God that
called them out of Egypt and gave them the promised land.
In the New Testament we
regularly read that Jesus is the bridegroom and the Church is His
bride. So if we are Jesus' bride, if we are not looking to Him and
His will for our lives we are committing adultery. When we desire the
things of the world, we are being unfaithful to God. James reminds us
that God is a jealous God. He created us out of love and does not
want to share us with the world. Since Adam and Eve chose to take
matter into their own hands, He has spent every moment trying to get
us back,. He paid the ultimate sacrifice so that we could be restored
to our rightful place by His side. God is a jealous God.
Now that we have hammered
through where conflict comes from, how do we get through it.
James 4:6-10
“6 But He gives greater
grace. Therefore He says:
God resists the proud, but
gives grace to the humble.7 Therefore, submit to God. But resist the Devil, and he will flee from you. 8 Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, sinners, and purify your hearts, double-minded people! 9 Be miserable and mourn and weep. Your laughter must change to mourning and your joy to sorrow. 10 Humble yourselves before the Lord, and He will exalt you.”
As we know God wants us
back. He wants us to be with Him and to live according to His will.
He wants to give us grace. How do we get there if we are living in
conflict?
First we need to submit to
God. We need to truly turn from our own desires, our own wishes, our
own selfish behavior and submit to God. We need to follow God and His
will for our lives, instead of our own. If conflict arises within
ourselves, with our coworkers, spouse, or friends and we are
submitting to God, He will help us. He does not want us to live in
conflict. Instead He wants us to see others as He sees them and to
interact with them according to His desire.
You know that person who
drives you crazy? All of us have at least one in our lives. You may
want to ignore or bicker with them. God wants you to Love them. If
you are submitting to God you will learn to Love them even when it is
hard.
After submitting to God,
we need to resist the devil. 1 John tells us 'One who is in you is
greater than the one who is in the world.' We cannot resist him on
our own, he is smart, cunning, and has had a lot of practice
corrupting humans. But if we are submitting to God and seeking His
will and wisdom He will help us resist the devil.
Look at verse 8.
“Draw near to God, and
He will draw near to you.”
Do you believe that the
Bible is the Word of God? Do you believe everything in this book is
true? If so, than you need to take this promise to the bank. God
wants to not only be with you when you die, but He wants to be very
close to you NOW, He wants to walk with you. You can't walk down a
path with someone without being close. God wants to be real close to you.
How do we draw near to
God? We need to clean up our hearts. How do we do that? Spend time
with God, talk to Him, read His Word, and apply it to your life.
Confess your sins to God. Humble yourself. Seek God in every way and
He will be very close to you.
James 4:11-12
“11 Don’t criticize
one another, brothers. He who criticizes a brother or judges his
brother criticizes the law and judges the law. But if you judge the
law, you are not a doer of the law but a judge. 12 There is one
lawgiver and judge who is able to save and to destroy. But who are
you to judge your neighbor?”
James ends this section
telling us not to be critical of fellow believers. Talking bad about
fellow believers only divides. Whether we are talking about people in
this building or people from other churches or denominations. Jesus
told us to love our neighbors as ourselves. If we are being critical
of them we are judging them not loving them. Don't judge your
neighbor, Love Them!
Conflict may seem like the
natural way of things. It is part of our daily lives more than any of
us would care to admit. Do you want to live at peace with others? Do
you want to live at peace with God?
Take James' advice.
Submit to God.
Resist the Devil.Draw Near to God.
Then love others as Jesus
commanded.
Thank You for Reading and I Pray that God Richly Blesses You!
Robert
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